Jennifer Evans
by Farringtongirl
Summary: LeeKara Story: Inquiry of Captain Lee Adama…When Jennifer Evans died aboard the Rising Star last week, she left behind a note and an 18 month old little girl. Her letter indicated that Lee Adama was the father of her child. Late S2 Black Market
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer – Don't own the characters or universe, just playing with them, will return them unharmed and without making a profit.

**AN: **This was written as an entry for the Dradis 499 Contest, where the premise was that a secret needed to be revealed by Lee or Kara. The idea has grown with me and I've decided to write a full story to answer all the loose threads.

**Summary**: Inquiry of Captain Lee Adama…When Jennifer Evans died aboard the Rising Star last week, she left behind a note and an 18 month old little girl. Her letter indicated that Lee Adama was the father of her child.

"Based on her birth date, she was conceived shortly after summer solstice, two years ago, right around the time of Zach's death. Accidents happen, Lee, but you can't ignore your responsibilities."

Lee shoots his father an outraged glare, "You of all people, have no right to lecture me about the requirements and responsibilities of fatherhood."

Ever the diplomat, President Roslin intervenes, "Captain, I realize that this is a highly personal and private matter that we're delving into, but we have the welfare of a young girl to consider here. No doubt during that time on Caprica, you were grieving, hurting, and there's no shame in turning to other's for comfort." Her smile turns slightly melancholy, "When faced with the reality of death, we often do things that are out of character just to prove we're alive."

Kara watches the proceedings, her feelings alternating wildly between numbness, disbelief, anger, and shame. The anger finally wins out, "For fraks sake Lee, just tell them the names of the people you slept with that week?"

The pain of betrayal mars his face when he replies, "I spent one night with one person. It was not this girl's mother."

"The evidence would suggest otherwise." Tigh interjects, "The paternity test is positive, showing 88 percent genetic compatibility."

"That's impossible."

"Is it?" Lee looks up upon hearing the dejected tone in his father's voice, "You've admitted to having a one-night stand during the critical timeframe. The DNA matches. And then there's the letter. How can you be so sure?"

"I never slept with a Jennifer Evans" Lee hisses.

"You've gotta give us something to work with Captain" Tigh demands. "If it wasn't Jennifer Evans, than who was she? What was her name?"

Kara notices that Lee's face has gone from frustrated anxiety to stone cold anger, "I'd like to exercise my rights under article 23 of the colonial law."

"Captain, you're remaining silent on this matter will only leave us to judge you based on the scientific evidence" Adama concludes.

"Stop this." Although spoken in a whisper, the commanding tone in Kara Thrace's voice is clearly heard by everyone present. "He's not hiding anything; he's just being stupidly noble."

"Captain, there's no harm in releasing this young woman's name when, in all likely hood, she never survived the attacks" Roslin reasons.

Lee's stomach is churning with a vile mixture of guilt and anger. How can he explain this? How frakked up is your life when you'd rather people thought that you were a deadbeat dad, than know the truth?

Tigh's voice cracks the painful silence, "Forgive me Bill, but I doubt that you had a fling with young Ms. Evans the week of Zach's funeral, which means Lee must be the father."

"He's not" Kara states firmly, rising from her chair to stand beside Lee.

"And how could you possibly know that?" Tigh asks in exasperation.

William Adama watches transfixed as Kara takes Lee's hand into her own and squeezes it tightly. It's a sign of support…and silent admission.

_Reviews are always appreciated...if you're intrigued, I'm doing something right...if you're utterly confused as to what the secret is, review and yell at me because I've screwed up. Thanks for reading...next chapter will dig deeper._


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I apologize for taking so long with Chapter 2, but I've written half of the 3rd already and I should have that one up in a week at most. I am in the process of moving from Minnesota to Philly so if the posting gets sporadic, that's why. I didn't beta this chapter because I just wanted to get it up! It was written primarily in MSP airport at 4:30am, so feel free to point out errors and laugh at my grammar abilities. Thanks.**

Chapter 2

Laura Roslin tries to keep her face as neutral as possible, but even to her, an outsider, this discovery is shocking. Not so much from Lt. Thrace, who's prone to impulsive behavior, but most definitely from Captain Adama. She chastises herself mentally for that thought, remembering what she had said only moments ago about facing death and mortality. "I think, Cornel Tigh, this is now a discussion best left with the Commander and his family. Shall we?" she asks while gently taking him by the arm and moving him towards the door.

Tigh allows himself to be shepherded to the exit and an ugly look of incredulity and disdain floats across his face as he closes the door behind them.

Lee cannot bring himself to look into his father's eyes. Instead he chooses to look at the hand holding his, exhaling deeply. 'She never listens' he thinks. There was no reason for her to be dragged into this mess. With each step she took towards him, his eyes had pleaded with her, 'Don't do this!' Then he felt the warmth of her hand settle into his own, and he couldn't stop the relief that washed over him. Lee cannot be angry nor fault her reason, because if it was Kara under fire, he would have done the same.

Kara knows that it's because of that single night, that she and Lee have no place to move forward from today. Or perhaps it's because they never spoke about it. She's relived that night so often in her sleep that sometimes Kara thinks she dreamed it all. But Lee's actions today confirm it was real and that he has never forgotten. More incredibly, he does not appear to hate her for it.

William Adama is beyond words. He can only continue to stare at the entwined hands of the only two people left in this world who he loves. The swelling emotions of anger, betrayal, disbelief, & disappointment are dragging him under like a rip tide. He wonders how this could've happened and he is suddenly overpowered by his failings as a father. A single labored breathe draws both their eyes to rise to his in perfect unison. The synchronicity of their movements is so natural that it only serves to fuel his worst suspicions and he allows the current of anger to take him. As he finally looks at his eldest son he cannot restrain the frustration that creeps into his voice, "I never would have believed that you could betray your brother that way, Lee. Your mother and I raised you better than that...better than to take advantage of…"

"Don't you frakking dare, pin this on Lee." Kara has taken an imposing step forward placing herself within the commander's line of vision. It tears her heart in two when he meets her gaze. This man, who would be her father, is now looking at her as though he doesn't know her at all…and as if he doesn't care to. "You don't know the first damn thing about what happened that night. You have no right to sit there and pass judgment on us." Her voice is rising in pitch and fury with each passing moment, while her body trembles as the truth draws closer. "And for your information, Lee is not the one who initiated it, okay? I did that. That responsibility, that blame, it lies with me."

"Kara?" Lee places a hand on her shoulder, trying to interrupt this tirade before she crosses the final line.

"No!" she cries throwing Lee's hand from her shoulder and squaring against his father, "You wanna know? Do you really want to know…what happened that night?"

Kara's face is rigid with tension and Bill can tell she's fighting back tears. He's not sure he wants to hear this, but he needs to understand how this happened if he's to ever look his son and 'daughter' in the eye again.

The Old Man gives her the barest of nods, indicating she should continue, "He saved me." Kara's voice drops to a near whisper, more akin to a prayer than a reason, when she repeats it, "He saved me." She feels Lee's hand at her side and allows him to steer her to nearby chair where she collapses, emotionally drained and dispirited.

Adama barely registers the words…hearing them, but refuting their meaning because the implications chill his blood. It was hard to believe that Kara was a danger to herself, but knowing now about her contributing role in Zach's death, the prospect was disturbingly astute. He remembers offering Starbuck a place on Galactica because, although he had only just met her, his instincts told him that she needed a purpose and a fresh start. Would she have even lasted long enough for him to make that offer, had Lee not been there for her?

Lee kneels before her, gently holding her wrists and keeping vigil until she's ready. Their next step will be back in time. He can see her steeling herself for the journey back with each deeply controlled breath.

Even at the worst of times; Lee and Kara are always there for one another. There is a comfort to that implicit fact that cannot be described, nor ignored. William Adama can feel it radiated by Lee's gentle manner and Kara's acceptance of his support. The trust between them is nearly tangible for its sheer intensity.

Kara lifts her head and slowly opens her eyes, seeking Lee's and together, they surrender to the flood of memory.

_Next chapter will be a flashback to the evening of Zach's funeral. Due to content, this story may change to an M rating. Reviews are always appreciated, but thank you for reading regardless. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: This chapter and the one that follows are flashbacks to the evening of Zach Adama's funeral. Thank you to all readers and special thanks to reviews.**

Jennifer Evans – Chapter 3

Kara can hear the rain raging outside her bohemian style apartment. Her lovers' bed of earth will be soft tonight. The elements themselves are pouring out their sorrow to combine with the tears of those who loved him. The wind is fierce and the constant metallic clang of the fire escape creates a morbid rhythm to accompany her equally dark thoughts.

One bottle of ambrosia lays on the floor, empty and discarded. The second sits on the table before her, ¾ full, taunting her with the promise of oblivion. It's a lie. She learned after the first bottle that peace was not a flavor to be swallowed. Grief is bitter and ubiquitous. Alcohol never stood a chance….maybe something stronger…something permanent?

Her hand trembles as she reaches over to the chair and draws her weapon from its holster. She pops a bullet from the chamber, admiring the aerodynamic beauty that is destined to cause devastation and pain. She places the gun at the far end of the coffee table, but sits the bullet before her and stares at it intently. When the lightening flashes, she swears that its reflective gleam winks at her…issuing a challenge.

The metal feels cool beneath her nimble fingers…left…right…left…right…she rolls the casing back and forth across the wooden surface as she sits on the floor. "I buried my future today." Her voice grows hollow, "Maybe I should just bury you as well and take the pain away…hmm? Would you like a new home…right here?" she points to her temple with an unsteady finger. Kara only manages to produce a mirthless laugh which quickly descends into a gut-wrenching sob.

An eye for an eye…a life for a life…Zach is dead because of her. But his death is not her worst sin…not by far…and it's a crueler penance for Kara to live with the guilt of all she's done than to die now. To load her gun and pull the trigger would be to deny Zach justice…and if nothing else, she owes him that.

In the distance she can hear a rumble…but it's not thunder…the banging is too deliberate and her foggy mind registers that someone is knocking at her door. Well frak them!

Blessed silence prevails again and Kara stares out into space…not seeing the bottle, not seeing the bullet, not seeing a future. The ladder outside crashes loudly, causing Kara to spring onto unsteady feet. As she opens the window a figure rises into her field of vision and she stumbles backward in shock. A wet hand grabs her arm preventing her fall…or rather delaying it. Unbalanced and drunk though she may be, Kara Thrace is a fighter, and chivalrous or not, this man is an intruder in her home.

Lee opens his mouth to ask if she's ok and she nearly knocks out his front teeth. He looses his grip on her arm in dodging the blow and Kara falls flat on her ass with a slight yelp. For a moment he just stares at her, allowing the rain to saturate him further. When the light of recognition dawns across her face, Lee barely suppresses a chuckle when he asks her "Are you okay?"

Her bewildered eyes turn fiery, "What the frak do you think you're doing?"

"You didn't answer the door…so…"

"So? Did it ever occur to you that I might want to be alone?" she asks rising to her feet. "Or is breaking and entering your standard response to a locked and unanswered door? Did ya ever think of calling first?"

"I tried that but it said your line was disconnected" Lee replies sternly.

"Yeah well I was too busy choosing funeral flowers to worry about petty details like phone bills" she snaps. The impact of those words hit them both at the same moment and Kara swiftly drops her graze from Lee's. Her tone becomes subdued, "What are you doing still standing out there? Get your ass in here."

Lee climbs over the ledge and into the loft, closing the storm out behind him. "Would I be right in thinking the electric company is missing your contribution this month too?" he asks, gesturing to the few candles illuminating the dark.

Kara only shrugs in reply, not trusting herself to speak again. Instead, she drinks in the sight of her best friend, her fiancé's brother, dripping sarcasm and water into her apartment. She can see the muscles in his body shiver from the damp cool and in contrast, she feels warmth rise within her. Whether it's from the glorious image of Lee Adama glistening by candlelight or the pervasive guilt for the sheer idea is indecipherable. She finally finds her voice while focusing on the puddle at his feet, "I'll get you a towel and a dry shirt."

He watches her retreat to the small bedroom and rakes his gaze across her apartment. Lee has been here many times before and he always thought of this space as an extension of Kara herself, emulating her mood. Perhaps it's because of her artwork and poetry on the walls…it's like her soul has bled out into her surroundings to the point that they reflect one another. Ordinarily this place was boisterous and passionate, but tonight it is melancholy and hollow. The sorrow pulses, poisoning his body, laboring his mind, and it engulfs him completely.

Lee needs a drink. As he reaches for the bottle of ambrosia, a flicker of candle light illuminates the gnawing fear that prompted his visit. Unconsciously his fingers by-pass the bottle and clasp around the smooth steel. His sense of touch confirms the bullet is real and Lee sags to the floor as the weight of this latest nightmare collapses upon him.

"You should be able to fit into this sweatshirt. I stole it from a marine guard at the…" the last word dies from her lips. Lee is sitting on the ground, examining the bullet with a furrowed brow and slowly those beseeching blue eyes turn up to meet hers.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am soo sorry for not posting this chapter sooner, but real life has rudelyintruded. I'm in the process of moving from Minnesota to Philadelphia and it's been beyond stressful. My final move should be set the first week of November and I promise to post more consistently from that point on.**

Chapter 4...

Kara is numb with shock…the way he's looking at her now is worse than anything she could have ever imagined. She'd be happy to see pity in his eyes…anger towards her for being stupid…fear…loathing…accusation…anything would be better. Instead she sees tranquility in those blue orbs…gods forgive her…she can see understanding and empathy. Only someone who's considered taking their own life could look at her as Lee does now. 'No!' her mind screams, 'I will not be responsible for the death of another Adama.' She resolutely walks toward Lee, smacks the bullet from his hand, and smartly strikes him across the face on the back-stroke. Tears are falling down her face as she sinks to her knees in front of him, clutching the damp material of his T-shirt, she commands his gaze "I never…EVER…want to see that look in your eyes again! Do you hear me? Do you understand me?"

Lee's head is buzzing from the unexpected slap she'd administered, but the hysterical intensity of her tone and grip, gives him focus. He's never seen her like this before…unhinged. Then again, Lee himself never considered life anything less than a gift until five days ago. He cups her face and looks her straight in the eye, only to find an agony that matches his own. He needs to calm her and explain his own 'why' before he can ask her the same. Lee sighs deeply, "Did you know that my first memory in life was of Zach?"

Kara pales, horror-stricken by this newest revelation. 'Is there no end to the misery that her love inflicts?' But the thought is erased as his thumb lightly caresses the apple of her cheek and his index finger gently strokes beneath her ear.

"I was 2 when he was born and I don't remember anything of life before my little brother wrapped his hand around my finger." He feels the heat of her tears fall against his thumb and pulls Kara tightly against him, her head falling naturally into the crook of his neck. Lee rests his head against hers, his cheek sliding amongst the fine strands of her hair as she burrows deeper into the safety of his embrace. "After the funeral today, that memory was all I could think of and I just could not imagine a life without Zach in it." Lee swallows the lump in his throat and pulls back gently so he can see her face. "I find no comfort in sermons of the here-after…in the promise that things will get better in time…there's only a void. It's like I died with him. If it feels that way…is it true, Kara? Did you feel it?"

"Yes, I felt it" she whispers, sitting back onto her heels. "But it didn't last" her eyes stray to the bullet cast upon the floor. "I felt dead. I felt nothing. But now…all I'm capable of is feeling…anger…pain…guilt. That trio will haunt me for the rest of my life and there's no escape." Her own clothes are now wet from clinging to her last hope and worst betrayal. She clutches her arms, holding herself together and softly confesses, "I'm damned."

"Do you know why I'm here?"

She shakes her head, not meeting his eyes.

"Kara, do you know what brought me back from the edge?" She gives him her eyes and as Lee replies he squeezes her hand, "I realized that my death would cause more pain to those I love who were left behind."

Kara's face falls into a weary smile because that answer is pure Lee…selfless and considerate of others. "You have a father and mother who'd miss you, Lee, who love you. My past is empty…now so is the future." His blue eyes flicker with alarm, or perhaps it's a trick of light, "But you don't have to worry about me. I'll survive and keep fighting…it's the only thing I know…that's my family legacy."

"Kara, that's not living. No matter what you think or what twisted shit your mother fed you, you deserve to be happy…to be loved." Lee knows he's hit the mark when her eyes go wild.

"No I don't! You don't understand. I…" she's on her feet shouting, willing Lee to understand that she's responsible for all the pain that the Adama family is enduring. The simple truth is best, but it falters on her tongue, "I…it's my...it's my fault." Her knees give out as she makes the admission and she feels Lee gather her in his arms, lowering them to the floor. He's holding her in his lap, strong arms snaked around her back, whether for balance or to keep her from running she's not sure. Kara keeps her eyes trained on the floor.

"Kara look at me" it's a statement, not a question.

She twists her torso so that their foreheads touch, placing her hands lightly atop his shoulders. She keeps her eyes closed tightly for a few minutes, until she feels him brush a gentle kiss on her cheek. Her eyes fly open and there's a world of blue uncertainty staring up at her.

It amazes him how such a simple and innocent touch could carry an undercurrent of such energy. He has her attention now and Lee knows that he must deliver the message that she'll never accept, "Zach is dead Kara…and it's not your fault."

She pushes at his shoulders, "Let me go!"

Lee's response is to tighten his grip around her, "It is not your fault."

"Stop it!" He doesn't listen…he just keeps repeating those 5 words over and over, as though the mantra was true. He believes it so deeply, completely; his faith salts her raw wounds until she loses all control, punching his chest, lashing out in a flail of arms and obscenities.

Lee switches his hold, grabbing her wrists tightly and pulling them behind her back. "Look at me, for fraks sake! Look at me, Kara, and understand…it was an accident."

Her frustration is at its peak and she can't stand to hear him hand out another absolution for her crime...he doesn't understand...he doesn't know the worst. Her lips attack his mouth, a last desperate attempt to stem the flow of forgiveness she can never accept. The kiss is hungry, frenzied, salty with tears, and yet it's the sweetest taste she's ever known.

It's improper. A mere distraction from their grief, but Lords of Kobal forgive him, he's never needed anything like he needs her now. The soft moan that escapes from her is a temptation no man was meant to refuse. Though his call sign is that of a god, Lee Adama is only a man. He gives in. Her lips are soft and yielding, like her body against his, but fierce and passionate, embodying the very essence of Kara's spirit.

She breaks the kiss, breathless and frantic, "I'm tired Lee. I can't fight anymore when there's nothing…nothing but pain and guilt." She swallows back the emotions, "I need to feel something more than that…I need to know there's something beyond this despair, this cold emptiness…I need you to show me." She brushes her lips across his jaw line, her fingers cradling his neck, "Please, Lee? Please."

He's never heard Kara beg for anything, it's an act completely at odds with everything he knows of this beautiful, strong woman. Yet she was begging now…for comfort, for the heat of damnation, for Lee…for them. 'Is it worse to betray a brother or to let the woman he loved die in a blaze of self-destruction?' He doesn't know the answer. He only knows that he would do anything to stop her tears; give all of his body and soul to make her smile. Lee's restraint is rendered obsolete as he succumbs to the truth. He kisses her slowly, with the dedication to bring her hope…to prove to her, that she is deserving of life...that she is loved.

**Final Note: Since it's been so long between chapters, reviews are greatly appreciated as they help me refocus and commit to finishing the story. Please hit the little blue button and let me know if you want this story to continue or if you've lost interest, let me know what I can do to spice things up again. Cheers & thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you to all the reviewers...you really motivated me to finish this fic...I was trying to get it out before November 1st, but I missed my deadline by 15 minutes...ugh! In any event, chapter 5...**

Kara doesn't remember how they managed to get to her bedroom. She doesn't know how their clothes became a wet discarded pile on the floor. She cannot remember these things because all else fades away when Lee kisses her. In those first moments, the touches they share, whether with hand, mouth, or body, those are the only things she can recall.

Lee can feel her heart pounding as he caresses an aroused nipple with his thumb and forefinger. Her foot slides along the inside of his calf, spreading her legs and unconsciously he rubs himself against her, sighing at the decadent warmth he finds. She shudders at the contact and he wants nothing more than to taste her, claim her. But he holds his desire in check, reminding himself 'this is for her.'

The pain of loss is dulling as the pain of need becomes more acute and Kara cannot wait any longer, "Lee."

He can feel it in her body even before she calls his name and suddenly he's there…they are there…they are one. Lee is confused to find himself 'home' in a place where he's trespassing. But when she moves beneath him, his mind clears to a single purpose. Kara.

She moves with him, matching his powerful thrusts harmonizing naturally. Sex and flying; with Lee she can do both without the necessity of words. And there's only one word to describe the experience of both, "perfect" she whispers. The unique cobalt of his eyes questions her, but the mind-numbing pleasure he's creating only allows her to reply with a radiant smile.

He can see in her eyes, feel in her body, all that he is offering her, being presented to him in return. Love, hope, comfort, release, and freedom…these are the things he craves most and he knows he cannot find them within himself. He needs her. He wants her. He's always wanted her. It's his greatest sin. It's why he denies himself now. Lee's body shakes at the repression of such fire, but to succumb to her would betray Zach.

Kara's eyes flutter closed as the first wave of her orgasm crashes upon her, "Lee…ah Gods…ah…Lee! Lee!"

Lee closes his eyes tightly, concentrating all his efforts on preventing his own release. He grits his teeth and thrusts through the ragged sighs and clenching warmth, until her tremors quell with a final sigh of his name.

Kara wraps her arms across his back, pulling him closer. His head settles against her breasts and she shivers when his warm breath cools against her damp, sensitive skin. Kara can still feel him strong within her. She can feel the delicious rhythm of his pulse caressing her walls…the sensation is incredible, but the implication unsettling. "Lee?"

Lee is struggling to gather his breathe, but she kisses him with an aching tenderness that pulls at his very soul. He pulls back from the kiss reluctantly, his eyes still closed. "I can't…Kara, I want to be here for you, but don't ask me to…I can't!" He tries to extract his taunt body from her warm, coaxing depths and feels her legs tighten against his backside. The gentle touch of her hand on his face is like a slap and his eyes open. The flush of her skin, normally so pale, makes her eyes shine a deeper shade of green.

"Why? Why are you holding back?"

He settles his forehead against hers, tracing her collarbone with his fingers, "It would be stealing that which was most precious to the dead. I won't be a grave robber. I can't take you," his voice falters, "not from my brother."

"You're right..." there's resignation and loss prominent in his eyes "but for the wrong reason" she clarifies. Kara sighs, "Lee, you can't take me from Zach…because I was never his." He's watching her intently, she prays that he's listening half so well, "I belong to me."

She rolls them, locked together, so that she's now above him. "Lee, I'm asking you to _accept_ what little of me I have left to give." She breaks eye contact, looking down at where they're joined and splaying her hands across his heart, "Please don't tell me it's not good enough."

"Kara you have so much to offer, but I just can't…" he stops abruptly as she slaps him lightly across the mouth.

"Stop punishing yourself!" Kara's voice is impatient, frustrated, and angry, "Death is the thief, not you." She kisses him with bruising force, until he responds with equal intensity. She pulls back, telling him in broken breath, "Life is hope. You've restored mine and now" she eases her hips up, then down slowly, grinding into the wet heat between them making him gasp, "I want you to be reborn inside of me."

"Ah…Gods…Kara?"

"I want this…I want you. I want to see the pain wash away from your eyes and know that it's because of me." She guides his hands down his sides to her thighs, then up to her hips and sighs with relief and pleasure when she feels his fingers grip into her flesh.

Lee pulls her down against him while he arches his back surging deeper into her. And just as she promised, she accepts him. She accepts him with an enthralled moan, followed by a ravenous kiss. The tone quickly becomes primal…hard and relentless…but never careless. Kara sways and pulls above him, demanding control and relinquishing power with seamless grace and beauty.

All guilt is washed away by the warm currents of their primitive rhythm. They loose themselves in finding one another. The sight of Kara ragged with exertion and flushed with the peace that they've made between them is the first image of Lee's rebirth. He holds her close and rolls them to the side, entwining their hands between their bodies, forging another link between them.

Serenity is what she sees in his eyes. It's what she feels in her own heart for giving it to him. She knows that this tranquility will only last until dawn, but the memory will never fade.

Lee slowly raises their hands to his lips, kissing them lightly along the ridge. When he raises his gaze, he sees Kara sitting before him in his father's office, their hands still clasped together. He can feel the cool air on their knuckles, drying the ghost of a warm kiss. Her eyes are glassy, alight with remembered passion, but rapidly dimming in the light of present reality.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed all the angst of the past because we'll be getting to the turmoil of the paternity Q&A next chapter. Thanks for reading, love to reviewers.**


	6. Chapter 6

Title-Jennifer Evans, 6

Warnings- angst/romance

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S2

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

Chapter 6

William Adama looks at his two best pilots, desperately trying to suppress his anger. The anger is not directed towards them or the events of the night they've just relayed, but rather it's focused inward. Until today he never realized how close he'd come to losing all of them…Zach, Lee, and Kara.

Bill always knows what's happening on his ship, but today's revelation proves that the Galactica is the limit of his scope. He knows Captain Adama and Lt. Thrace, but he knows nothing of Lee and Kara. Suddenly he feels more a stranger than a father. His anger boils over producing vapors, the ghosts of past mistakes, and leaving a simmering reduction of self-loathing and regret.

The commander in him takes charge, but he cannot help but channel a modicum of outrage and contempt on Zach's behalf when he asks, "Was that the only time?"

Lee's back stiffens at his father's tone and he notices a flicker of shame in Kara's eyes at the implied dig. He squeezes her hand tightly before replying, "You're a bastard."

"Excuse me Captain?"

"He said you're a bastard, _sir_" Kara reaffirms, fixing her gaze upon the commander. "Are you so repulsed that you'd rather that Lee or I was dead? Because I can guarantee you, had Lee not been there for me, I would not be here now."

William shakes his head in weary dismissal, "Of course not. But I won't pretend to approve..."

"Do you think this was easy for us to tell you?" Lee interrupts his demeanor the epitome of defiance. "Every night from that one to today, I've prayed for Zach's forgiveness."

A swift glance at Kara's face confirms Bill's theory that Lee was never alone in his repentance.

"I loved Zach, even now, knowing what he did, I still love him because he was my brother. But don't you dare judge me or Kara for that night."

"And if you had it to do over?" his father asks, genuinely curious. But Lee doesn't get the opportunity to answer.

"If I had it to do over, I would have failed him." Kara's tone grows colder, steadier, with each postulation. "Then maybe we wouldn't have fought about his capacity as a pilot two days before his death. Maybe that fight wouldn't have resulted in postponing our engagement. And just maybe Zach wouldn't have gone off that night and frakked a girl named Jennifer Evans to forget about me."

**A/N: Okay...I was just about ready to give up on this fic due to a combination of new job, holiday crap, and then a major bout of writer's block...but then today I got a guilt trip from one of my readers over at the Apollo/Starbuck board. The gist was that I was either dead or wouldbe hunted down soon if I didn't step up and finish this fic! I can't apologize enough for the delay, but I will say that reviews fuel commitment and apprently guilt trips work on me too! It's a short chapterbut at least this train is moving again. -- Wendy**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:**** I figured that nothing says "Sorry for not posting chapter 6 an 7 for nearly a month" like finishing the damn story by the end of the week! **

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

Bill's last bastion of denial crumbles as Kara's words sweep over him. His only solace comes from seeing a reflection of his own shock in Lee's expression. It seems he isn't the only one in the dark concerning the tenuous nature of Kara and Zach's relationship. Still something from Jennifer's letter gnaws at him, "But this woman claims that Lee Adama is the father of her child, not Zach."

Zach was his baby brother, but in many respects Lee was more of father figure in Zach's life than the man standing before him. And with that accountability in mind his voice becomes hollow, "He was covering his bases just in case he could work things out with Kara." It doesn't sound like something Zach would do and it certainly wasn't something Lee taught him, but it was the only logical answer. Kara seems to diminish beside him, as her anger deflates and her walls are erected.

"Zach called me the morning of his graduation flight and left me a message apologizing profusely, begging me to forgive him. I assumed he was talking about our fight and since I was the one in the wrong there, I wanted to wait until I saw him in person to talk." Her voice hitches, "It was the last time I ever heard his voice."

There are tears biting at Bill's eyes when he realizes that he cannot even recall the last time he spoke to Zach. Caroline always warned them throughout their marriage that he needed to spend more time with his family. Every year on their anniversary, which he was almost never home for, she would give him a scrapbook of photos of the past year in the boys' lives.

Lee's temper flares when his father suddenly turns away from them and begins sifting through books in his personal library. Before he can make a comment, Kara's hand upon his shoulder, stays Lee's tongue. He follows her gaze and finds his father standing in profile holding a scrapbook, a look of profound sorrow and loss etched in the lines of his face. Lee recognizes the book instantly and his anger dissolves into concern, "Dad?"

Bill has avoided looking at this book for more than two years. It's from his 6th anniversary and many of the chapters commemorate the birth and first year of Zach's life. After a few moments he finds what he was looking for…a page labeled Zach's First Haircut. A small picture of a freshly barbered Zach on the verge of tears is accompanied by a lock of brown curls tied into place with a blue ribbon. Bill concentrates on steadying his hand as he carefully unties Caroline's bow, but when he speaks, his voice quivers betraying his stoicism, "Captain, please take this sample down to Doctor Cottle in sickbay and have him re-run the paternity test."

Lee can see himself stretching out his hand to take the 'sample', but he feels disconnected from his body until the tiny strands tickle his palm. His stomach turns as he remembers the countless times he'd ruffled Zach's hair to annoy him. He clenches his fist tightly, grasping at the memory, but thoughts of the present quickly engulf him. 'This isn't a _sample_, this is Zach. This is evidence that even he made mistakes. This is my brother…his legacy…a link to a child…a niece I've never known. I wonder if Jennifer kept a lock of hair from her daughter's first haircut. Her daughter…Zach's daughter…my niece…Hannah.' Until this moment Lee had resolutely refused to acknowledge her name, but now he allows it to burn into his mind, heart, and soul. He uncurls his fist, and senses Kara's eyes upon him, more specifically on his hand.

She reaches out uncertainly and strokes the soft fibers with an aching tenderness before cupping her hand over Lee's.

It seems even death cannot disentangle the three…Lee…Kara…Zach.

Bill watches his remaining children striving to protect the remnants of their missing link and remorse flows through his very being. He'd lashed out at them because of his own inadequacies and illusions and the words tumble from his lips with surprising ease, "I'm sorry." The look of astonishment on both of their faces is almost comical, but Bill squashes the reflex to smile because he wants them to understand that his apology is heartfelt.

Lee searches his father's eyes for any lingering disapproval or doubt, but there is only honesty. A silent communication of apology and forgiveness passes between father and son with the merest of nods. Lee follows his father's gaze as it now turns towards Kara; her face unreadable.

"I think we're all sorry, sir." She looks up briefly, "But regrets won't help rebuild a family." She squeezes Lee's hand tightly, "Maybe _she_ will."

A feeling of warmth, long forgotten, spreads into Bills bones and he nods in agreement. The ghost of a smile twists upon his lips as he tells them, "Dismissed."

**A/N**: **I'm not sure if I'm going to add another chapter or not. I feel like I could easily end the story here, but there's another little twist I wanted to throw in...let me know if you like it as is or if you'd like to see me take you through one more turn. You cast your vote to end or continue by using the little blue button and reviewing. Thanks for reading.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I was going to leave chapter 7 as the conclusion to this story, but tonight I found myself opening up the start of Chapter 8, which I had forsaken, and found my muse in high spirits. I know exactly where I'm going now and the end is in sight...I think Chapter 10 will be the last and I hope you'll stick with me. I know I've been an inconsistent pain in the ass for posting and I appreciate all the readers who've stuck it out. My reviewers...mwah...smoochie kisses. On with the show.**

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

Chapter 8

Lee can deal with a lot of things from Kara, but silence is not one of them. She hasn't spoken since they left life station twenty minutes ago. Actually, she hasn't uttered a word since being in his father's quarters over half an hour ago.

"Kara?" She turns away from him, opens her locker and begins to search in earnest. Lee can tell that she's looking for answers; in actuality she's rummaging through dirty laundry and right now that seems fitting, poetic even. He tries again, "Kara, talk to me. You can't be okay with all of this because I'm not and I wasn't even the one betrayed."

Kara lets out a slow breath as she becomes transfixed by her mirror and the frozen moment in time displayed there. If she could tear her gaze away from the picture long enough to look in the reflection, she'd see that Lee has moved to stand behind her. Idly her fingers pass over the picture, "He didn't betray me."

"What?"

"This is all my fault." She finally looks into the mirror and sees his beautiful face contorted in confusion, "Lee, there are some moments that are just too painful to relive and this is one of those times."

"Kara, you're not making sense. You are not responsible for everything that goes wrong in the universe….least of all Zach cheating on you. I know your 'Mother' wanted you to believe that you were some kind of curse, but that was and is nothing but bullshit."

She whirls around lightening fast at the mention of her mother, "Don't. Don't for a second pretend that you understand what this is all about." Kara gets into his personal space forcing Lee to give ground, "You don't want to know and it's better if you don't."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean…it's better if I don't' know…you think that shutting me out is going to protect me?"

"Urgh! This isn't about **you** and this isn't about **her**." She sighs in angry frustration, "Gods! You're really going to make me do this aren't you?"

Lee feels a slight tremor of guilt at the resignation haunting her eyes, "I just want to understand." He pauses a moment, but her disposition has not improved, "The world as we know it, literally, depends on us every day. I don't want to see you bogged down by burdens from the past…especially false ones."

Kara's eyes are cold and penetrating, "Right. So, you automatically assume that I'm assigning self-blame because of my mommy issues and you're completely ignoring the idea that I could have been to blame for what happened that morning?"

Lee has no response to that.

"Frak, Lee. You do need protection…from yourself and the unattainable standards you impress upon others. You'd rather believe that I'm blowing this whole thing out of proportion, than entertain the idea that I could actually be responsible."

"Responsible for what? How could you be responsible for Zach sleeping with another woman?"

"I told you that you don't want to know."

"And I'm telling you that I need to know. Kara, nothing you say is going to make me think less of you."

The fire in her eyes, kindled by their argument, dwindles, "I know…but you're always harder on yourself than you've ever been on me…and that's what I'm afraid of." She can tell that he's utterly confused, but now that she's started there's no turning back.

"The morning that Zach broke off the engagement with me, we were fighting about his final test scores." Kara can see Lee nod and continues, "The heated portion of our argument circled back to why he was training to be a viper pilot."

"Dad." He watches in confusion as she negates his suggestion with a shake of her head.

"Zach, didn't want to be your father, Lee…he wanted to be you." The pain she sees in Lee's eyes feels like a kick to the gut, but she presses forward, "Growing up your father was this living legend who you barely saw. But you still tried your hardest to emulate him. He was your father, your role model, and the only man you had to look up to. Zach once told me that as much as he loved your dad, for all intensive purposes _you_ were his father. You were the one who was always there for him. How could he not look up to you?"

Lee could feel the tears burning as they slid down his face, "Well given what my influence has produced, maybe its best if I stay away from Hannah. I mean her very existence if proof that I'm not a good father, otherwise Zach wouldn't…" Kara's soft finger tips prevent him from finishing that thought.

"Before you go berating yourself further, please let me finish."

Lee bows his head into his hands and then draws them out toward his temples, drying the tear trails in the process. He feels her hand slip into his and for the second time that day, he cannot defend against the eerie calm her touch bestows.

"Things really went to shit when Zach started comparing himself to you…you were his standard. It scared me and it made me so angry. With each passing breathe Zach outlined everything he wanted to be and I felt sick because I wanted the same thing." Kara can't look Lee in the eye, the most she can manage is to squeeze his hand before she continues, "And then I said the worst thing I could have possibly said," Lee's hand at her chin guides her eyes to his, "I remember the exact words." Her tears fall unrestrained, freed from years of guilt, only to be captured by his hands.

"I told him, 'I love you…even if you're not Lee.' It seemed like the right thing to say, the Starbuck thing to say…sarcastic and off putting, but that's not how it came out. When he asked me what that was supposed to mean, I couldn't speak, I just stared at him."

Lee is numb with shock. It is all encompassing, on so many levels, but he simply can't look away from her mouth. Kara's confession continues, removing any doubts about his interpretations, thus far.

"You can love more than one person, Lee. But there's only one person that owns you…that you belong to. And the look on your lover's face, when they realize it's not them…uh…until the day I die, I will always remember that look. I would remember it even if it hadn't been the last one we ever shared."

**A/N: As always, please review and let me know what you like or hate. Blue is ever so pretty...why not hit the button? Thanks for reading.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Silence ensued for the next few minutes but despite her discomfort, Kara cannot bring herself to break Lee's revelry. When he finally speaks, she can't help but think that the continued silence would have been easier to endure.

"Zach wanted to be me? And you wanted him to succeed?"

His blue eyes pierce her carefully arranged defenses, slipping past and beneath her skin effortlessly. She nods in confirmation. His questions are leading them down a path they've struggled their entire relationship to avoid. Hell, they usually pretend that road doesn't even exist.

"Zach assumed that meant you really wanted to be with…"

"Let's not sully Zach's memory further by pretending that revelation was some kind of misunderstanding."

Lee looks at the floor disgusted with himself. He's always hoped, but never believed that Kara could feel this for him. In all those dreams, the attraction between them was something pure, but in reality it only seems to produce pain.

"Do you know what made me fall in love with Zach?" Lee's silent stare is her only response, "Zach was a screw-up…like me. He would have been my friend and nothing more, except that one night, he talked to me about his dreams and his ideals. That night I fell in love with the man Zach wanted to be. Little did I know that such a man already existed?"

A fresh wave of guilt surges in Lee's heart and he lets out a hollow chuckle at the irony, "We always want to be someone other than ourselves, don't we?" He pauses a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose, before looking at her again, "I wanted to be Zach."

"Why?"

"That's the wrong question."

"So what's the right one?" When he looks at her, his face displays a mixture of longing and sadness that spiral together as though lifting a mirror to her own heart.

"I'm horrible bother and a right bastard…I was a horrible brother" Lee amends with bitterness.

"Lee?"

"When?" He exhales the stagnant air from the hollows of his chest where the secret behind that word was buried. Her brow is crinkled in confusion, but her face is intent. "I wanted to be Zach, the moment I first met you."

She can't help but smile a little at the absurdity of their history. "It all went downhill from day one for us, didn't it?"

"I'd say that day was the turning point for **all** of us."

Kara exhales slowly, "Yeah." Her next questions is tentative, "Where do we go from here?"

"We go to the Rising Star."

There's a steely conviction to his voice that causes an irrational fear to flare within her. Memories of her mother's drunken episodes assault her mind, "I don't know if I can…what right do I have…" she corrects herself, "do **we** have to…"

Lee can feel the panic radiating off her and he reacts instinctually, derailing her rant and dispelling her fear with a soft kiss. She hesitates only a moment before acquiescing to the comfort and strength that he's offering. "We didn't make Hannah, but we created the situation that brought her into this world. I know you're scared, Kara…frak…I'm scared shitless myself. But if nothing else, we owe it to Zach to see that his daughter has a loving family."

She kisses him soundly, in affirmation, but there's a small sad smile on her lips when they part.

"I'm not oblivious to the dual meaning of the original question, either Kara." Her smile becomes genuine at that, "I'm just not sure where _we _go from here. I know that I love you. I know that denying that fact and trying to hide it, has only brought disaster on us."

"You know, there were times I was convinced that the Gods were frakking with me…punishing me because I was screw-up…just like Mom said. I can't promise to let go of all the guilt I have about Zach, but I won't continue to use it as an excuse to run from the gift the Gods have given me." Lee's arms embrace her in a tight hug and she tucks her head against his neck, whispering in his ear, "Today I stop punishing myself for loving you."

**A/N: I know...I'm getting sappy! Next we get a little Adama/Roslin convo and Lee/Kara meeting Hannah. One more chapter to go. Hope you're enjoying...but I'll never know unless you review ;-) Thanks for reading.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Fic: Jennifer Evans**

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S2

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 10**

A gentle knock on his hatch, causes William Adama to abandon his introspection and look toward the door. He's shocked, if not a little pleased to see Laura Roslin taking a tentative step over the threshold.

"May I come in?" she asks warmly.

"Afraid I'm not great company at the moment." None-the-less, he nods toward her and motions to the opposing chair.

"That's understandable given the shock you received today." She gives him a moment to comment on that…he doesn't. Laura isn't one to normally pry, but this child is a force that will change the lives of three members of the upper military stratum. She decides it's best to approach this from the pragmatic angle first; the family history will no doubt follow. "Have you made any decisions about what's to be done with the child? Hannah?"

"Not yet. Doc Cottle just reran the paternity test against a new sample…it came back a perfect genetic match."

Laura is surprised by the tone of his voice. It sounds distant, almost as though he were lost. It's a frightening concept considering his normally unflappable demeanor. "From Lee?"

"From Zak" he replies. He looks at her for the first time since they've begun speaking and he see concern in her eyes. He basks in that and allows himself a moment to become human, to shed the pomp and status and be, Bill. Only Laura can fully appreciate the burden of leadership and the constant front of stoicism that position requires. Saul got a taste of that, and crumbled beneath the pressure. He's not sure if he wants to discuss such an intimate family affair with her, but she seemed the least judgmental of the group earlier today. He begins slowly, "It seems a lot happened that week that I never knew about."

She nods with a light smile, reassuring, and intent that she's listening.

"Kara and Zak had a falling out the day before he died and it appears that in that brief window of time, he had an affair with this Jennifer Evans."

"But she said that Lee Adama was the father?" It seems like a simple question, but it earns her a fiery glare that quickly flickers into something wholly different. It is only when Bill tears his eyes away from her that she realizes he's ashamed.

"Apparently, Zak lied about his identity."

"Did you ever consider that it was Ms. Evans who lied?" His blank stare is all the answer she needs, "Everyone in the fleet saw that special on the Galactica crew, it's possible that she wrote Lee's name, instead of Zach's, because he was an Adama and obviously alive."

"She could have just as easily written my name; surely it didn't escape her attention all this time that the Commander of the fleet was also an Adama."

Laura quirks one eyebrow, "Maybe she wanted to keep the scandal to a minimum."

"If her intent was to limit the chaos, I'd say her efforts failed miserably."

"From the reports I've read, Jennifer Evans was dying a slow painful death, and I'm fairly certain that her primary concern was finding a family who could love and care for her daughter…your granddaughter. Bill, have you stopped for a moment to consider, how fortunate you are?"

"I've had so many curve balls thrown at me today, I'm not sure what I feel, let alone what I think."

"You already have your son and Kara, a woman you love like a daughter; most members of this fleet aren't half so lucky. Today, you've discovered that you have a granddaughter as well. Now I'll grant that you're entitled to a moment of astonishment, considering the circumstances." The diplomacy drops from her voice and she levels him with a calculating stare, "However, that being said," she leans in closer, "Bill Adama, I am tempted to slap you for being anything less than grateful for this turn of events."

Bill's mouth falls open in shock, but he doesn't get a single word out before she cuts him off.

"I've dreamed of waking up one day to find that someone, anyone, from my family was still alive. Does it really matter how she came to be here? What good does it do, to wallow in the sordid details of past mistakes? Will you honestly feel better placing blame or taking it on yourself?" She reaches out to him, taking his hand, "Isn't it enough to know that infinite possibilities aligned to bring Hannah back to your family?"

"I always dreamed of having grandchildren one day," a whimsical smile ghosts his features and dissolves away as he continues, "but not like this."

"Not Zach's?" She can tell that she's crossed the line by the coldness in his eyes, but there's no way to come out of this conversation unscathed. "Judging by that look & your body language I'd say that's not your objection." She sighs deeply, "Sometimes, in honoring and remembering the dead we idolize them and forget that they were human…that they had frailties and vices." She kneels beside him, gently cupping his hand between hers, "Remembering that they weren't perfect doesn't mean we love them less, it acknowledges that we love all that they tried to be…regardless of whether or not they succeeded."

He almost chokes on the words, "Zach made a mistake."

"Yes, but I doubt you'll be able to see it that way once you meet _her_. From where I'm sitting, Hannah is not a mistake…she's a miracle."

"A miracle?"

"With all the guilt, responsibility, and miscommunication between them…what else but a miracle could bring Apollo and Starbuck together?" Breaching this subject is a gamble and Laura prepares herself for a taste of his earlier fury, but instead his response comes even and smooth.

"After Ragnor, you said that we needed to start having babies."

"I did" she affirms slowly, not sure where he's headed.

"Every once in a while, when I let my mind wander down the path toward grandchildren, I'd envision a little girl with blonde pigtails and blue eyes…a mischievous imp that would have me wrapped around her finger. Maybe I never wanted to consciously entertain the idea of Lee and Kara together, but on some level, I knew."

"Bill…everyone knew…except maybe the two of them."

A hearty laugh erupts before he can stop it, and decorum be damned, it feels too good to stop. Before he knows it Laura's gentle laughter has joined with his and there's tears threatening against his eyes before he regains his composure. He takes a cleansing breathe, "My only real concern is how they're going to manage this new relationship and Hannah?"

"I don't think that much is going to change about the way your son and Lt. Thrace interact," Laura winks, "except the increased possibility of getting a miniature blonde hellion."

"Let's take it one step at a time. They'll have their hands full raising Hannah; a toddler is a lot of work and they're getting thrown into the deep end of parenting."

"From what I've seen and heard, the only thing that could rival the love I see between those two is what they felt for Zach. I have no doubt that bond will serve them well in creating a loving and nurturing family environment for Hannah. And when they need help, you'll be there for them."

The conviction in her tone steels his resolve and it reverberates in every syllable of his response, "Yes I will."

"Good." She stands and he mirrors her action, "Then let me be the first to say, Congratulations Commander." She extends her hand and offers him a warm smile.

He accepts and returns both, "Thank you Laura."

"You're welcome Bill."

**Author's Note: Can't even begin to apologize about the delay in posting, but if you'd like the short version...writer's block. If you're new to this story...Hello and thanks for reading. Reviews are sincerely appreciated...even if it's a rant...I think you're entitled. I'm looking to finish this up before the end of the month, not sure if they'll be one or two more chapters. **


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 11**

Lee awakens slowly, reluctant to leave the security of his dreams, until he feels her nestle closer into his embrace. A relieved smile spreads across his face and he takes a moment to just bask in the simple pleasure of her breathing against his neck. He runs light fingertips across the span of her back, a lazy pattern whose only agenda is to touch, to feel. He thinks back on the past 24 hours and the impossible train of events that lead them back to one another.

Last night, when the results came back confirming that Zach was Hannah's father, Lee had wanted to head over to the Rising Star immediately, but the Commander had other plans. Lee's not sure which moment was more surreal, when his father said that he'd prefer they wait until tomorrow so that he could get family quarters prepared for them, or the fact that his Commander gave his CAG tacit permission to live with his Lead Pilot. In retrospect, they both paled in comparison to his father hugging him and Kara and giving them his blessing.

He knew that his father's acceptance was important to Kara, but Lee was surprised how much he'd needed to hear those words himself. Not just because the Old Man's opinion was important to him, but because he'd been Zach's advocate earlier and having his permission felt like they were being given Zach's by extension.

The details of yesterday fade as she begins to stir against him. His smile widens when he realizes why her slight movements feel so gods damn good…he's still buried inside her. Lt. Kara Thrace, the untamable Starbuck, had been so well and truly frakked last night that she never recovered enough from her final orgasm to separate from him.

Her first sensation of the day is heat. Beneath her, around her, insider her…the last one brings her to full consciousness with a throaty moan. "Lee, I'm not even awake and you're already killing me." She kisses his chest despite her chastening words and feels his hands glide up her arms, pulling her flush against him. Kara rolls her hips and smiles when Lee groans in response. His hold on her slackens as she grinds against him in a maddening, yet deliberate fashion. Despite the frantic need building behind his eyes, he kisses her languidly, savoring this moment. She pushes back straddling him fully and breaks the kiss. "Morning."

The word comes out like a purr and Lee watches as she arches her back and stretches her arms above her. The combination angles him deeper within her; she's teasing him now. "_Good morning_," he corrects. Lee withdraws slightly and then snaps his hips roughly, causing her to gasp in surprise. Wide green eyes and a deviant smile are all the incentive he needs to flip her over and begin showing her how good this morning is going to be.

Whether slow and sweet or relentless and pounding, Lee Adama cannot simply frak her… he only knows how to make love to her. It's an intimacy that Kara shares with no one else.

It's been years, but he remembers that she loves when he draws circles along the soft skin behind her knees while rocking into her. The delicious contrast pulls her to the brink and she's panting his name, calling to the gods, mindless and wanton. Lee's throat tightens watching her climb until she's trembling, her hold on reality tenuous.

She reaches a hand toward his face and he kisses her palm, nuzzling it. The feel of his stubble against her wrist trips her orgasm and she begins to plummet, her eyes closing against the impending fallout. As her orgasm begins to wane a second spikes when Lee nips the inside of her elbow and surrenders himself.

Lee collapses, his head leaning into the crook of her neck, breathing in the heady scent of pheromones and sweat.

Kara turns aside so that he's spooning behind her. She takes his hand and kisses his palm, "You ready for today?"

"Hmm?" Lee kisses the skin at the base of her neck remembering how intoxicating it tastes. He begins to trace the pattern of her tattoo there with his mouth, and when she repeats the question it comes out as an unintelligibly mumble causing Lee to chuckle softly.

"Frak you!"

"Give me a few more minutes to recover and I'll be happy to oblige."

"What time is it?"

Lee pulls her closer, "We've got at least an hour before the shuttle."

Her voice turns soft, "Do you think she'll look like him?"

Lee scoffs, "I hope not…seeing as she's a girl."

She elbows him for that, "Be serious."

"I don't know…maybe."

"What if she doesn't like us?"

"I'm sure at first, she won't."

Kara sits up and turns towards him, anger brewing in her hazel eyes, "That's a shit thing to say Lee." She pulls the curtain aside and starts to get dressed, but she's shaking so badly that her fingers prove useless. 'He thinks I'll be a bad mother….of course I'd be a lousy mother, just look at my role model…frak.' The voices of doubt are overpowering.

Lee sits up and grabs her wrists, "Hey. Look at me." She resolutely turns her head in the opposite direction. Forcing her to look at him would be a mistake, so instead he massages her hands until her breathing evens out. "Kara, please look at me."

She takes a shuddering breath before meeting his gaze.

"Hannah has just lost the only parent that she has ever known. She's too young to understand that her mother isn't coming back. You can't go in there expecting her to just accept us as her family," he caresses her cheek softly. "It may not work that way."

"I don't know anything about kids."

Lee pulls her onto his lap, "You think I do?"

"Well you're being the voice of reason here, with the child psychology and everything. Frak! I hate being nervous." He laughs at that and she punches him in the shoulder, "And you're serenity is really starting to piss me off!"

"First…ow." That makes her smirk, "And second, you know better than anyone that my stoicism is a façade to mask all manner of emotion."

Her smile is fiendish as she wiggles in his lap making him groan, "So, what are you _hiding_ today?"

Lee holds her still, "Primarily? Terror." She kisses him slow and tender for that admission. When they come up for air, he confesses, "But arousal is coming in a close second."

"I can't help you with the first one, but…" she straddles his lap and nibbles at his collarbone, "we've still got half an hour to work on the second."

"We're going to be late." Kara dissolves into laughter and Lee seizes the opportunity to throw her back onto the bunk.

She wraps her legs tightly around him, pulling him closer, until he's back where he belongs. She sighs contentedly, as he kisses below her ear and down her neck. A smile blooms across her face when she hears him mumble, "Very, very, late."

**Author's Note: Next chapter will be the last, but I felt Lee & Kara should have a little smut time before Hannah arrives. Kids are great, but toddlers are arousal killers plain and simple. Love to reviewers.**


	12. Chapter 12

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S2 - This is what I thought Black Market was going to be...what a wasted opportunity.

Pairing-K/L

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 12**

"You can do this. You can do this. It's going to be fine." Kara busts into laughter beside him and Lee sends her an irritated glare. "What's so funny?"

"You do realize that you were talking to yourself just now?"

He frowns at her, which only serves to send her off again.

"Lee, the only time I've ever heard you do that before," she bites back a giggle, "we were in a dogfight vying for our lives."

"Well our lives are about to change when we walk through this door." Her laughter stops abruptly and a long silence ensues until they both break down laughing to the point of tears.

Kara gasps, "My gods Lee, she's a little girl, not a cylon." She shakes off the nerves, "We can handle this."

"Now who's talking to themselves?"

She sticks her tongue out at him.

Lee rolls his eyes, "Real mature. You and Hannah will get along great, seeing as you're both the same mental age." She smiles, but when she bites her bottom lip, Lee takes her hand and squeezes it tightly. "Kara?" She looks at him, her eyes conveying all of her fears in a brilliant swirl of green and gold. There's so much he wants to say to reassure her, but instead he says the only thing that matters, "I love you."

Kara lets out a deep breath and kisses him softly, "Love you."

"It may take time, but Hannah is going to love you too."

"What makes you so sure?"

"She's half Adama," Lee tucks an errant strand behind her ear, "loving you is encoded within her DNA as a hereditary trait."

"Lee, that is so lame." He smiles in response and she hugs him tightly, "Thank you." She steps back from him and pulls the hatch handle, "Let's do this."

As she pushes the door open she hears the squeals of small children and cold dread slides through her stomach. The high pitched near screams are laced with happiness and humor that she doesn't initially understand. Kara's childhood was colored only with silent screams of agony, which echo within her head even now. It takes a breath for her to separate her past from the present…the horror from the hope.

She looks to Lee, seeking that calm center and instead finds an anxiety beyond her own sprawled across his features. In a twisted way, she finds his distraught pose reassuring. He takes her hand and squeezes it tightly, prompting her to ask, "What?" He makes no reply. She follows his intent gaze across the room to a small girl with brown hair and an eerily familiar smile. "Oh my gods."

"Can I help you?" Kara and Lee both jump at the sound of the unexpected voice.

Slightly embarrassed, Kara turns and smiles at the older woman before them. Her hair is slate grey and pulled back into a loose pony-tail with wisps escaping at random. She looks haggard but her hazel eyes are soft and kind. Lee is still watching the little girl in the corner as she colors, leaving Kara in charge. "Yes, I'm…" Kara halts, not sure how to explain her role here, ultimately, deciding that it'll be easier to focus on the family connection through Lee, "This is Lee Adama. I believe someone at your office spoke with the Admiral about our coming to adopt Hannah, as per Ms. Evans final request."

"Oh yes, I spoke to Bill myself. You must be Kara? I'm Ethel Barry, the daycare director here on the Rising Star." Ethel extends her hand and the young woman before her blinks in confusion before remembering herself and returning the gesture.

Kara's initial hesitance is a product of her combined surprise that the Admiral would mention her and the fact that Ethel called the Old Man by his first name as though she's known him all her life. "Uhm, yeah. Obviously, this is Lee" she nudges him in the ribs and he merely nods, never taking his eyes off that mess of brown curls.

It's clear that Lee Adama is spellbound by his future charge and Ethel is averse to breaking any connection that he may be forming where Hannah is concerned. Instead she presses on as though he hadn't ignored their introduction, "We'll its lovely to meet you both. Hannah is a delightful child and after what happened to Jenny," she drops off sadly before regrouping, "Well, it's just a relief to know that she'll be in such good hands with a lovely couple."

It's odd to have someone acknowledge her relationship with Lee in public and Kara can feel a faint blush run up the column of her throat. "Thanks." However, her smile fades when she reflects on the 'in such good hands' thing, and Kara confesses, "We don't really know much about children." She fears for a moment that she may have said too much and that Ethel may refuse to let them take Hannah, but shockingly the wizened woman chuckles softly.

"Well it's good to hear you say that." This statement and her soft belly laugh finally break the spell of the young Mr. Adama, who now looks at them both sheepishly. "I'd be more concerned about a couple coming in, looking to adopt, who think they know it all. I've worked with children for over thirty years and the only advice that I can give you is to treat each child as the blessing that they are." At their hesitant half smiles she offers helpfully, "I can also give you some books about what to expect and the developmental stages, as long as you remember, that your gut is a better guide than the books." She shakes her head at their matching relieved expressions, "You'll be surprised how quickly you'll pick things up and how instinctual a lot of parenting is."

Kara lets out a long breath and fights the sudden urge to hug the woman standing before them. As she opens her mouth, her words are stolen by Lee beside her, "Thank you, Mrs. Barry."

Ethel's eyes sparkle with a teasing gleam, "Call me Ethel dear…and it's nice to have you back." She cannot contain her mirth as he flushes crimson at her ribbing, "Why don't I grab the paperwork and find a few child rearing books, while you two get acquainted with Hannah?"

Lee can feel his stomach plummet and correspondingly his skin pales, "Does…does she understand about her mother? I mean, will she be okay with coming away with us?"

She gentles her tone and cuts straight to the issue they've been dancing around, "She knows that something is wrong, but death is a concept far beyond the reach of any two-year old. Children at this age are very emotionally attached to their parents, so don't be surprised if she cries for her mother or if she gets a bit petulant. But it's been over a week now and I'd say she's coping better than most adults. I chalk that up to the amazing resilience of youth." Her tenor shifts to a more hopeful note, "One of the best things about Hannah is that she's a very accepting child who's not afraid of new people. She's a charmer if there ever was one."

Lee's smile returns, as he recalls the way that Zach could wrap him around his finger with a slight quiver of his bottom lip. "Does she talk much?"

"Almost as much as you" Ethel retorts with a wink. That gets a cackle of laughter from the young woman beside him, "She's like most kids this age…she speaks in fragmented sentences from a basic vocabulary base. Just watch your language because she's also at the parroting stage where she'll repeat everything you say."

It's Lee's turn to smile, when Kara goes silent on his right. "Thanks for the warning. Can we?" he gestures towards the corner where Hannah is sitting.

Ethel smirks, "You two will be just fine." At their perplexed looks she elaborates, "If you knew who she was, without any indication from me, than that tells me that you've already forged some kind of bond with her…all you need to do is expand on that." She nods and turns toward a small adjoining office.

Kara squeezes Lee's hand inside her own, "Hey, you were really quiet…still with me?"

"Yeah." He looks at her apologetically, "It's just uncanny how much she reminds me of Zach, even from this far away."

"Well, let's take a closer look." When their eyes meet, his smile becomes more relaxed and weight in her stomach unclenches.

Lee nods and takes the first step closer.

**Author's note: I'm writing the final chapter, but if you've ever tried to describe an interaction with a two-year old (or had one) you know what kind of challenge I'm facing. I'm lucky that my nephew is at the same age that Hannah...so I'll be stealing from some personal experience for the close of this story. Thanks to all of those who've stuck with me. One to go. Thanks.**


	13. Chapter 13

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Warnings- angst/romance

Spoilers- Speculation on some storyline rumors for 2nd half S2 -- Essentially, this is what I thought Black Market was going to be...I was way off...and if I might say...my story is way better!

Pairing-K/L

Disclaimers-I don't own these characters, Ron Moore does

**Chapter 13**

As they draw nearer, Hannah's features come into clearer focus and in contrast Kara's heartbeat becomes progressively more erratic. She seems oblivious to their approach, completely immersed in the simple joys of crayon, paper, and imagination. There's purity to the way Hannah's concentrating on drawing lines that make no shapes or discernable figures and Kara knows in that instant, that she'll do anything to keep the wraiths' of war and death from intruding on her innocence.

Lee's knees nearly buckle underneath him when they get within two feet of the little girl. He's paralyzed by the way Hannah sticks her tongue out of the corner of her mouth, just as he'd seen Zach do a thousand times in their youth whenever he was concentrating on something he deemed 'important'. Lee had all but forgotten the peculiar habit until he set eyes on his niece today. Finally a breath of air rushes out of his lungs and it must have been dramatic because the fluid trail of colors stops and slowly a pair of soft brown eyes rise up to meet his. He can hear Kara stifle a gasp beside him at the same instant his heart clenches.

The fear and doubt melt away as Lee lowers himself down on one knee, "Hi." It's all he can think to say and yet he feels as though he's just cracked his soul wide open with one syllable. Her furtive eyes glance over Lee's form in appraisal, finally stopping at his eyes.

Hannah places one chubby hand, high against the side of Lee's face, shows him a cerulean colored crayon, and proudly proclaims, "Blue."

Lee can't control the short burst of laughter that escapes him anymore than the tears that trail down his face.

Hannah captures the rouge tears with her angelic little fingers and her face scrunches up in visible concern. "Ow?"

Lee shakes his head for emphasis, "No. Happy tears." He smiles to reassure her, and the child nods briefly before turning her gaze up and over Lee's shoulder.

This whole time, Kara's kept a step back from Lee and Hannah to give them space and a moment to connect. At least that's what she tells herself. But it seems Zach's daughter will tolerate none of her cowardice. Hannah pushes up from her seated position with a helping hand from Lee and she rewards his kindness by entrusting him with her blue crayon. She takes three wobbly steps but manages to never break eye contact despite her uneven gait. Kara feels as though she's caught in the cross-hares, but instead of running or fighting, her first instinct is to hold tight to the fear and draw closer to its source.

Hannah extends her hand with absolute trust and when Kara takes it, it feels as though her own bone deep scars are healing over. The precocious toddler steers her over to her work station and tugs gently down, demanding, "Sit."

Kara obliges and Lee immediately joins her. When Hannah releases her grip, Kara has to suppress the desire not to let go. On cue, Lee slips his hand into hers, squeezing tightly and filling the void.

Hannah busies herself with splaying out her art work and supplies before them. Once done, she stares at them expectantly and eagerly chants, "Color, Color."

She squeaks with delight when Kara picks up the yellow and orange pencils and begins creating a sunrise on the blank canvas. Lee leans in close to her, his breath warm on her cheek as he uses the blue crayon to draw a seascape horizon for her sun's descent.

Lee can't help but smile at the picture he and Kara create. Her artistic talent is evident even in this simplistic format. Her sun is teeming with solar flares and he can almost remember what the lick of sunshine feels like. The way she smudges the waxy film to shade around the edges gives the effect of a humid, hazy dusk. By comparison his ocean waves are simple and one-dimensional...child-like. It appears that even Hannah thinks she can do better because she takes the crayon from Lee's loose grip and turns the paper around in order to make her mark on their first family project.

Hannah smiles brightly and scribbles madly across their work and Kara can't help but feel the little scamp's wild blue streaks add much needed life to Lee's sad little ocean. A bark of laughter erupts from her lips at that thought and inadvertently causes a petulant pout to form on Hannah's face. "Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you. I'm just happy that you're improving Lee's part of the picture."

"Lee?" Hannah's gaze shifts questioningly between the two of them as if trying to determine who's who.

Kara is startled to realize that they never properly introduced themselves. She glances at Lee, whose smile has not diminished despite her harsh artistic critique.

Lee extends one hand, palm up, towards Hannah, while pointing at himself with the other. "I'm Lee." He swallows the lump in his throat, "I'm your uncle."

It's clear from the way her face contorts that Hannah doesn't understand the familial reference. But that thought is quickly undermined when she pulls Lee's world out from underneath him with one word, one question, "Daddy?"

Lee is glad that he's sitting on the floor already because his body would not have withstood the blow Hannah just administered. The trust in her eyes, the hope radiating all around her is the most humbling and frightening thing he's ever experienced. Kara's hand has found its way to his shoulder and with a deft squeeze she reminds him that he's not alone in this…not in his fear or in his dreams. Lee takes his niece's…no his daughter's hand, and brings it to his chest. "Yes Hannah," her eyes watch him carefully, "I'm going to be your Daddy now."

"Mama?" she insists.

Lee's eyes water with unshed tears for a woman who he'll never know, a woman who left him this precious gift. "She's gone sweetie." Her eyes drop down and to the side, but return to his with an unexpected fire crackling beneath.

"Mama." Not a question this time, but a demand. Her lip trembles and her skin flushes red as the force of drawing quickening breathes rises to a dizzying pace and tears stream down her cherub like cheeks.

Shear instinct compels Lee to draw her into his arms and cradle her tight. He rocks her slowly as she continues to whimper into his neck, "Mama…ma..ma." Her plea shatters into mere syllables as she hiccups that unanswerable prayer over and over. For all his cooing and whispers of encouragement, Hannah's tirade doesn't subside until Kara rubs a soothing stroke down her back.

Hannah pulls her puffy face from the crook of Lee's shoulder to stare at her and Kara's hand freezes in place. Her finger tips are immersed in Hannah's brown locks…her hair feels soft and fine, exactly like the strands of Zach's baby hair that she and Lee held yesterday.

Hannah disentangles herself from Lee's grasp and turns her body to face Kara. She wipes her nose across her sleeve and cocks her head to the side, "Who you?"

Kara realizes that she's still holding Hannah in a half embrace and she drops her hand from the girls back self-consciously before answering, "I'm Kara." Those brown orbs stay locked on hers, waiting patiently for more. Zach was a master of using silence to force her to open up, and although she knows that it's unlikely that a toddler is using psychology against her, Kara can't help but note the similarity. "I'm going to help Lee take care of you." Lee's warm hand finds its place at the small of her back and a dollop of serenity seems to accompany it. "Is that okay?"

Hannah looks between the two pilots, as if trying to decipher something important. She takes one of their hands in each of hers, "Daddy" she nods at Lee and turns a shy smile to Kara, "Kawaa." It seems Hannah has inherited her father's ability to put those around her at ease, because despite the surreal circumstances, the dynamic between the three of them feels almost natural.

Lee gathers his girls into a warm embrace and he knows that he will never forget this moment. As Kara kisses his cheek and he feels Hannah's tiny arms snake around his neck, Lee dismisses the theory that love is intangible. Anyone who says different is to be pitied, because they obviously never held their family in their arms.

Kara feels Lee entangle his hand with hers at the base of Hannah's neck. His fingers slide reverently over the silver band on her thumb and she catches his eye. She gently extracts her hand from his and cups Hannah's face lightly, "Hannah, do you see this ring?"

The little girl wraps her hand around Kara's entire thumb and Lee is assaulted by the memory of Zach holding his finger in just that way. He's never been a man of faith, but the scriptures echo in his mind as this scene unfolds…all of this has happened before and will happen again. For the first time, that notion of a cycle of time seems fraught with hope.

"A long time ago, a very special man by the name of Zach gave me this ring and asked me to be a part of his family…the Adama family." Kara swallows back the threatening tears, "But we lost him."

"Mama?"

Kara manages a dewy smile at the youngster's ability to follow, "Yes, he's gone. Zach is with your Mama in heaven." Hannah nods slowly, not entirely convinced but still enthralled. Kara slips the ring off her finger and is only mildly surprised when Lee places a chain in her hands. She sees him tuck his dog tags into his front pocket and takes a moment to marvel at how in synch they are.

"Hannah, Kara and I want you be part of our family." Lee watches as the child pulls her attention away from the glittering band to stare at him, "Do you want to come live with us?"

Her face scrunches in deep thought for a moment before asking, "Ada?"

Lee looks to Kara who smiles her Starbuck-knows-all grin, "That's right," she puts the chain around Hannah's neck, "You'll be an Adama."

Hannah admires her new trinket before nodding excitedly, "Ada, Ada!"

Lee smiles through the fresh tears, content to let them fall and honor this bright shiny moment. Kara stops one with her thumb, rubbing the salt over his lips before capturing them in a smoldering kiss.

Hannah draws them a part with an insistent, "Me. Me."

Lee looks down at her and can't help the jubilant smile that spreads across his face. "You want a kiss too." He swoops down, picking her up and she squeals with delight. Lee plants a series of light kisses across her cheeks while Kara tickles her sides until she giggles out a "Nooo!"

Kara knows a surrender decree when she hears one and promptly stops her assault. She ruffles Hannah's hair and asks, "So nugget, you ready to go home?"

The reply comes out as a half yawn, "Yeah."

Kara watches as Hannah drops her head to Lee's shoulder, eyes drooping, and thumb secure in her mouth. After tucking a few errant strands behind Hannah's ear, she gets an unobstructed view of an angel sleeping on the shoulder of a God. "Fatherhood looks good on you Lee."

There's honesty, if not a little sass in her tone and Lee pauses to turn and face her, "You're going to be an incredible mother Kara." Her smile falters and Lee tips her chin up to meet his eyes, "What you did today," he runs his finger over her naked thumb, "was phenomenal. You selflessly gave Hannah an inheritance and a touchstone for her new family."

"Yeah, well," heat is blossoming across her cheeks, "Let's just hope she doesn't swallow it."

Lee tugs her closer, pressing the small family together, "Now I just need to get you a new ring."

Her eyes are brilliant fractures of green and gold, "That right?"

Lee closes the infinitesimal gap between them and kisses her until they're both breathless. "That's right."

Kara chuckles softly, "Are you actually challenging me to marry you?"

"I love you Kara Thrace," Lee dons his cockiest grin, "but I have no doubt that our marriage will be a constant battle for dominance."

"In that case," Kara trails wet kisses from the corner of Lee's mouth, along his jaw, and up to his ear, "Let the games begin."

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**Author's Note: SURPRISE!! It may have taken...like a year, but I'm finally done! I'd love to hear feedback about this story...even if it's a well deserved lashing for banishing it to limbo for months. I couldn't come up with an ending that I liked, but thank god for Leinenkugel's Berry Weiss beer...it's my slightly tipsy new muse. What do you think...should I use her again. I was thinking about throwing in a bonus chapter for this story about a 6 months in the future...pure humorous fluff. Any takers?**

**As always...hugs for readers and kisses for reviewers. Cheers!**


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